The following post is taken from the chat log of a couple of Slutty Little Heretics.  All typos and punctuation mistakes are real and should not attempted at home.  Reader discretion is advised. 

[00:18:48] Rhys Cook: Oh heyyyyyy

[00:18:54] Rhys Cook: fancy seeing you on here

[00:19:08] lauraisfrank: hey

[00:19:12] lauraisfrank: wow

[00:19:16] lauraisfrank: it’s been too long

[00:19:17] lauraisfrank: really

[00:19:19] lauraisfrank: how are you?

[00:19:22] lauraisfrank: how are things?

[00:19:43] Rhys Cook: pretty good

[00:19:54] Rhys Cook: actually, during the 3 minutes since we last spoke

[00:20:03] Rhys Cook: everything has become devastating

[00:20:10] Rhys Cook: it was a really dramtic 3 minutes

[00:20:14] Rhys Cook: I feel like a new woman

[00:20:23] Rhys Cook: how are you?

[00:20:59] lauraisfrank: i’m good

[00:21:01] lauraisfrank: the kids are good

[00:21:07] Rhys Cook: WHAAAAAAAAAA

[00:21:10] lauraisfrank: little Seamus jr is just starting school

[00:21:21] lauraisfrank: time really flies, doesn’t it?

[00:21:26] Rhys Cook: I know

[00:21:34] Rhys Cook: I bet Seamus jr is already taller than you

[00:21:49] Rhys Cook: I bet he can pick you up and carry you round with ease

[00:22:01] lauraisfrank: he can! ohoho! he really can!

[00:22:05] Rhys Cook: HAHAA

[00:22:28] lauraisfrank: he actually experiencing back problems because that’s the only way i’ll move about my house now

[00:22:31] lauraisfrank: poor thing

[00:22:43] Rhys Cook: wow, how cruel of you! :)

[00:22:53] lauraisfrank: well, you know me! :)

[00:23:06] Rhys Cook: did I say cruel, I of course mean cuel!

[00:23:17] Rhys Cook: (alternative spelling for cool DEGGIT!)

[00:23:23] Rhys Cook: *GEDDIT

[00:23:35] lauraisfrank: ahahaha super cuel, of course. and i deggit, i really do!

[00:23:46] Rhys Cook: funny stuff

[00:23:57] Rhys Cook: yeah, I was going to say, before that little hiccough

[00:24:14] Rhys Cook: that it’s especially weird that I’m getting all unclothed in a dance school

[00:24:30] Rhys Cook: where everyone is really skinny/athletic

[00:24:53] lauraisfrank: yeah, i would find that really hard

[00:25:02] Rhys Cook: it makes me feel more subversive, and also a but more nervous

[00:25:27] lauraisfrank: you’re a sexy badass

[00:25:29] lauraisfrank: you know that

[00:25:38] Rhys Cook: hehehe thanks hun, I try

[00:25:41] Rhys Cook: you’re super sexy

[00:25:46] Rhys Cook: and a super badass

[00:25:54] lauraisfrank: we’re fucking rolemodels.

[00:26:14] Rhys Cook: They should get us to go into Croesy and do symposium

[00:26:30] lauraisfrank: hahah that would be stupid

[00:26:32] lauraisfrank: but hilarious

[00:28:05] lauraisfrank: but yeah, i hate the though of fucking sitting around and boring people to death with all of the things i hate about my body and giving other people the access to my insecurity. it’s like, the more people who know, the bigger the insecurity gets. that’s how i think about it.

[00:28:27] lauraisfrank: it’s none of their fucking business and this is my body and they’re not having a fucking say in how i feel about it.

[00:28:50] Rhys Cook: too right.

[00:29:42] Rhys Cook: I think socety has all these bullshit concepts about women’s bodies, and then it’s totally ingrained through groing up unless the people you surround yourself with actively discourage it

[00:30:00] Rhys Cook: and you had poisonous people like ‘poisonous and insecure caucasian female’* in your life

[00:30:41] lauraisfrank: exactly. but it’s not her fault. she’s the same as a lot of girls out there. magazine reading girls who think in terms of ‘pear shapes’ and ‘apple shapes’

[00:30:50] lauraisfrank: it’s really, really hard to get out of that way of thinking

[00:30:58] Rhys Cook: yeah definitely

[00:31:46] lauraisfrank: and it’s suffocating and miserable - i hate that i would never ever wear trousers because i thought i was a ‘pear shape’. like it was such a disgusting, disproportionate way to be

[00:32:11] lauraisfrank: i’m not a fucking pear!

[00:32:32] lauraisfrank: it’s fucking sick

[00:33:48] Rhys Cook: I’ve always identfied as a sort of starfruit shape…

[00:34:09] Rhys Cook: either that or an M C Escher painting

[00:34:18] Rhys Cook: I’m kind of similar to both of those I think

[00:34:50] lauraisfrank: being an Escher painting makes more sense than being a fucking piece of fruit

[00:34:59] lauraisfrank: and is much more flattering

[00:34:59] lauraisfrank: also

[00:35:06] lauraisfrank: the word ‘flattering’

[00:35:28] lauraisfrank: fucking makes me want to rip all my hair off and ram it down the throat of cosmo’s editor

[00:35:41] lauraisfrank: ‘flattering’

[00:35:48] lauraisfrank: fuck you!

[00:36:15] Rhys Cook: yeah, what a weird fucking term when you think about it

[00:37:02] Rhys Cook: it’s kind of like “that cardigan is flattering” translates as “that cardigan makes your ugly body look better”

[00:37:15] lauraisfrank: exactly

[00:37:34] Rhys Cook: I hadn’t even thought about the word flattering in that way

[00:37:47] lauraisfrank: it implies that everything you’re choosing to wear is lying about how you actually look

[00:37:53] lauraisfrank: because it’s not good enough

[00:38:02] Rhys Cook: yeah

[00:38:12] lauraisfrank: and sometimes i don’t want to dress in a way that’s ‘flattering’

[00:38:31] lauraisfrank: i want to dress in a way that’s going to shock people or piss them off or make them horny or whatever

[00:38:39] Rhys Cook: yeah

[00:38:45] lauraisfrank: i don’t want to just ‘please’ them

[00:38:49] lauraisfrank: fuck the word flattering

[00:39:43] Rhys Cook: we should put something on our new blog about how we hate the word flattering

[00:40:10] lauraisfrank: yeah

[00:40:16] lauraisfrank: we could put this conversation on it

[00:41:46] Rhys Cook: you want to? Hahaa are you going to leave in the reference to ‘poisonous and insecure caucasian female!’*

[00:42:29] lauraisfrank: hmm

[00:42:32] lauraisfrank: maybe

[00:42:40] lauraisfrank: she’s not going to read it

[00:43:31] Rhys Cook: we could put in a really funny codename, and put an asterisk on it?

[00:44:08] lauraisfrank: hahahha

[00:44:09] lauraisfrank: okay

[00:44:21] Rhys Cook: and we could leave in this bit we’re currently writing, about us coming up with the codename.

[00:44:23] lauraisfrank: we could write a proper piece about it afterwards

[00:44:23] Rhys Cook: Trippy.

[00:44:29] lauraisfrank: hahaha

[00:44:37] lauraisfrank: meta

[00:44:41] Rhys Cook: so meta

[00:44:55] Rhys Cook: In summation.

[00:44:59] Rhys Cook: Fuck Flattery

[00:45:05] Rhys Cook: say it with me dear

[00:45:09] lauraisfrank: I’m saying it

[00:45:13] lauraisfrank: Fuck Flattery.

* Names altered for our own amusement and respect. Mostly amusement.