The following post is taken from the chat log of a couple of Slutty Little Heretics. All typos and punctuation mistakes are real and should not attempted at home. Reader discretion is advised.
[00:18:48] Rhys Cook: Oh heyyyyyy
[00:18:54] Rhys Cook: fancy seeing you on here
[00:19:08] lauraisfrank: hey
[00:19:12] lauraisfrank: wow
[00:19:16] lauraisfrank: it’s been too long
[00:19:17] lauraisfrank: really
[00:19:19] lauraisfrank: how are you?
[00:19:22] lauraisfrank: how are things?
[00:19:43] Rhys Cook: pretty good
[00:19:54] Rhys Cook: actually, during the 3 minutes since we last spoke
[00:20:03] Rhys Cook: everything has become devastating
[00:20:10] Rhys Cook: it was a really dramtic 3 minutes
[00:20:14] Rhys Cook: I feel like a new woman
[00:20:23] Rhys Cook: how are you?
[00:20:59] lauraisfrank: i’m good
[00:21:01] lauraisfrank: the kids are good
[00:21:07] Rhys Cook: WHAAAAAAAAAA
[00:21:10] lauraisfrank: little Seamus jr is just starting school
[00:21:21] lauraisfrank: time really flies, doesn’t it?
[00:21:26] Rhys Cook: I know
[00:21:34] Rhys Cook: I bet Seamus jr is already taller than you
[00:21:49] Rhys Cook: I bet he can pick you up and carry you round with ease
[00:22:01] lauraisfrank: he can! ohoho! he really can!
[00:22:05] Rhys Cook: HAHAA
[00:22:28] lauraisfrank: he actually experiencing back problems because that’s the only way i’ll move about my house now
[00:22:31] lauraisfrank: poor thing
[00:22:43] Rhys Cook: wow, how cruel of you! :)
[00:22:53] lauraisfrank: well, you know me! :)
[00:23:06] Rhys Cook: did I say cruel, I of course mean cuel!
[00:23:17] Rhys Cook: (alternative spelling for cool DEGGIT!)
[00:23:23] Rhys Cook: *GEDDIT
[00:23:35] lauraisfrank: ahahaha super cuel, of course. and i deggit, i really do!
[00:23:46] Rhys Cook: funny stuff
[00:23:57] Rhys Cook: yeah, I was going to say, before that little hiccough
[00:24:14] Rhys Cook: that it’s especially weird that I’m getting all unclothed in a dance school
[00:24:30] Rhys Cook: where everyone is really skinny/athletic
[00:24:53] lauraisfrank: yeah, i would find that really hard
[00:25:02] Rhys Cook: it makes me feel more subversive, and also a but more nervous
[00:25:27] lauraisfrank: you’re a sexy badass
[00:25:29] lauraisfrank: you know that
[00:25:38] Rhys Cook: hehehe thanks hun, I try
[00:25:41] Rhys Cook: you’re super sexy
[00:25:46] Rhys Cook: and a super badass
[00:25:54] lauraisfrank: we’re fucking rolemodels.
[00:26:14] Rhys Cook: They should get us to go into Croesy and do symposium
[00:26:30] lauraisfrank: hahah that would be stupid
[00:26:32] lauraisfrank: but hilarious
[00:28:05] lauraisfrank: but yeah, i hate the though of fucking sitting around and boring people to death with all of the things i hate about my body and giving other people the access to my insecurity. it’s like, the more people who know, the bigger the insecurity gets. that’s how i think about it.
[00:28:27] lauraisfrank: it’s none of their fucking business and this is my body and they’re not having a fucking say in how i feel about it.
[00:28:50] Rhys Cook: too right.
[00:29:42] Rhys Cook: I think socety has all these bullshit concepts about women’s bodies, and then it’s totally ingrained through groing up unless the people you surround yourself with actively discourage it
[00:30:00] Rhys Cook: and you had poisonous people like ‘poisonous and insecure caucasian female’* in your life
[00:30:41] lauraisfrank: exactly. but it’s not her fault. she’s the same as a lot of girls out there. magazine reading girls who think in terms of ‘pear shapes’ and ‘apple shapes’
[00:30:50] lauraisfrank: it’s really, really hard to get out of that way of thinking
[00:30:58] Rhys Cook: yeah definitely
[00:31:46] lauraisfrank: and it’s suffocating and miserable - i hate that i would never ever wear trousers because i thought i was a ‘pear shape’. like it was such a disgusting, disproportionate way to be
[00:32:11] lauraisfrank: i’m not a fucking pear!
[00:32:32] lauraisfrank: it’s fucking sick
[00:33:48] Rhys Cook: I’ve always identfied as a sort of starfruit shape…
[00:34:09] Rhys Cook: either that or an M C Escher painting
[00:34:18] Rhys Cook: I’m kind of similar to both of those I think
[00:34:50] lauraisfrank: being an Escher painting makes more sense than being a fucking piece of fruit
[00:34:59] lauraisfrank: and is much more flattering
[00:34:59] lauraisfrank: also
[00:35:06] lauraisfrank: the word ‘flattering’
[00:35:28] lauraisfrank: fucking makes me want to rip all my hair off and ram it down the throat of cosmo’s editor
[00:35:41] lauraisfrank: ‘flattering’
[00:35:48] lauraisfrank: fuck you!
[00:36:15] Rhys Cook: yeah, what a weird fucking term when you think about it
[00:37:02] Rhys Cook: it’s kind of like “that cardigan is flattering” translates as “that cardigan makes your ugly body look better”
[00:37:15] lauraisfrank: exactly
[00:37:34] Rhys Cook: I hadn’t even thought about the word flattering in that way
[00:37:47] lauraisfrank: it implies that everything you’re choosing to wear is lying about how you actually look
[00:37:53] lauraisfrank: because it’s not good enough
[00:38:02] Rhys Cook: yeah
[00:38:12] lauraisfrank: and sometimes i don’t want to dress in a way that’s ‘flattering’
[00:38:31] lauraisfrank: i want to dress in a way that’s going to shock people or piss them off or make them horny or whatever
[00:38:39] Rhys Cook: yeah
[00:38:45] lauraisfrank: i don’t want to just ‘please’ them
[00:38:49] lauraisfrank: fuck the word flattering
[00:39:43] Rhys Cook: we should put something on our new blog about how we hate the word flattering
[00:40:10] lauraisfrank: yeah
[00:40:16] lauraisfrank: we could put this conversation on it
[00:41:46] Rhys Cook: you want to? Hahaa are you going to leave in the reference to ‘poisonous and insecure caucasian female!’*
[00:42:29] lauraisfrank: hmm
[00:42:32] lauraisfrank: maybe
[00:42:40] lauraisfrank: she’s not going to read it
[00:43:31] Rhys Cook: we could put in a really funny codename, and put an asterisk on it?
[00:44:08] lauraisfrank: hahahha
[00:44:09] lauraisfrank: okay
[00:44:21] Rhys Cook: and we could leave in this bit we’re currently writing, about us coming up with the codename.
[00:44:23] lauraisfrank: we could write a proper piece about it afterwards
[00:44:23] Rhys Cook: Trippy.
[00:44:29] lauraisfrank: hahaha
[00:44:37] lauraisfrank: meta
[00:44:41] Rhys Cook: so meta
[00:44:55] Rhys Cook: In summation.
[00:44:59] Rhys Cook: Fuck Flattery
[00:45:05] Rhys Cook: say it with me dear
[00:45:09] lauraisfrank: I’m saying it
[00:45:13] lauraisfrank: Fuck Flattery.
* Names altered for our own amusement and respect. Mostly amusement.